Can You Do It Alone?

Successful people do not become successful on their own.

You cannot be successful on your own. You must first surround yourself with people you can learn from, gain support and get the encouragement to keep moving ahead. You must find yourself a mentor or a coach who can help propel you forward. Successful people have a support team of positive, confident, enthusiastic people who help them get to where they want to be.

It's normal to keep your dreams and goals to yourself. Most probably because you're afraid people would put you down or tell you to stop dreaming. The problem with keeping things to yourself is you wouldn't be able to get the help and support you need.

Share your goals and dreams. Ignore people who belittle your dreams. Find people who are supportive. Ask for what you need. Ask for information, assistance, support, time and whatever resources you need to help you achieve your goal.

When you ask, there's a 50-50 chance people might say yes. The worst thing that could happen is people would say no. So what? Not the end of the world. Ask another person.

One of the most important things to ask for is to ask someone else to do what you're not good at. Make a list of everything you need to do. Draw three columns on a piece of paper. In the first column, list every single task, no matter how small or trivial.

In the second column, decide if this is your core genius, i.e. is that something you can do well. Write a tick if it is.

In the third column is possible ways you can delegate. Based on the first and second column, figure out a way to delegate tasks that you're not good at.

Delegating could be as simple as getting a baby sitter twice a week so you can free two hours of your time to work on your goal. Or getting someone else to buy the groceries so that you have an extra hour for yourself. If delegating simple chores could free a few hours of your time a week so you can focus on working on your goal, wouldn't that be something worth doing?

When asking for what you need/want, keep the following in mind:
1. Ask as if you expect to get it.
2. Assume you can.
3. Ask someone who can give it to you.
4. Be clear and specific.
5. Ask repeatedly.

How Would You Like To Improve You Relationship With _________?

If someone tells you that he would like to give you some feedback, would you expect that he has something positive or negative to say? Most people would brace themselves for the critic.

When you receive a feedback, how do you react to it? Do you become angry, or defensive, or do you thank the feedback giver?

Getting angry or being defensive is pointless, even useless, because it does not allow you to improve yourself and grow. When people give you a feedback, listen, nod, thank them, and then think of how you can use the feedback to move forward. Of course it's not easy to do. Of course it's hard to sit there and listen. But if you could keep yourself from being angry or defensive, it will allow you to grow in various aspects of your life.

You can use feedback to improve your relationship with people around you. How? Ask them for feedback. Here's how you do it.

First, ask them this question: "On a scale from 1 - 10, how would you rate __________?". The blank might be "our relationship", "our friendship", "me as a boss", "me as an event organizer", "me as a team player" etc.

If the answer is less then 10, the next question to ask is "What would it take to make it a 10?".

Listen to the feedback and then think what you can do to make that relationship a 10. You can ask the questions to your significant other, friends, business partners, son/daughter, your employees etc.

I hope you'll have fun with this simple exercise. I surely did.

How would you like to be appreciated?

Do you know that different people have different preferences on how they would like to be appreciated? I didn't know until a week ago.

Some people prefer auditory appreciation. Others visual. Some other prefer kinesthetic appreciation.

For auditory people, kind words of appreciation is enough to send them over the moon. The visual type prefers things like cards, or desk clock, or flowers - things they can look and touch. People who are kinesthetic prefers a pat on the shoulder or a hug.

Why am I telling you all this? Firstly, because it's important not to take people around us for granted and to tell them that we appreciate their presence in our lives. Secondly, when you show your appreciation according to the way people prefer to be appreciated, it magnifies the impact. Not only they'd feel appreciated, your thoughtfulness makes them feel loved and cared for.

I asked a friend how she prefers to be appreciated and her answer was, "It depends. If it's from my husband, I prefer something tangible and shiny". She loves jewelry :-).

In order to be successful, you need to build relationships of success. One way to do this is by appreciating people around you - your significant other, kids, employees, co-workers etc. Whenever someone does a good job, tell them so. And show your appreciation in the way they prefer to be appreciated.

You mission this week, should you choose to accept it, is to make a list of people you want to appreciate, find out how they like to be appreciated, and list ideas how you can show your appreciation.

Don't make this a once-a-year event. Show your appreciation regularly.

Ooops... It Happened Again!

When I was about 14, a classmate had to quit school because his parents were poor and could no longer afford to send him to school. At the time, I said to myself that when I grow up, I want to make sure every child will be able to go to school.

I grew up and do what most normal people do. Got busy with my own life. But for some reason that dream didn't die. From time to time, I'm reminded of that promise I made to myself. I just didn't know how to do it.

Do you want to know why I want to be rich and have loads of money? It's not about the money itself. Not about fancy cars, or big houses, or branded shoes. Money is just a means to an end. Money would allow me to do the things that I've always dreamed of doing. I want to make a difference. I want to help people have a better life.

One of my goals is to set up a foundation to help underprivileged children. I shared this dream with a few people. Last week something amazing happened.

A friend of mine (who knew nothing of my dream of helping underprivileged children) was helping her friend collect toys to be donated to a children activity center. She asked if I would like to come along, and so I did. When I was there, I realized that a door has been opened to allow me realize my dream of helping underprivileged children.

I didn't go looking for this opportunity. It came to me! Once again, magic happened. The power of intention.

When I looked back at the events that unfolded in the past few months, I could not help but feel grateful and humbled. Each time a door opened, it brought into my life amazing people who are passionate about making a difference in this world. I feel blessed.

You can read more about the children activity center at http://chowkids.org.

What Is Your Intention Today?

It's a simple question that can make a big difference in your daily life. Each morning ask yourself, "What is my intention today?". Decide what you want to do and it will happen.

I've been doing this for a week. and I'm amazed by how much I can get done just by asking myself that simple question each morning. I have a post-it-note on my vanity table so I'd see that question each morning as I'm getting ready. When I see that question, I answer with 2 or 3 things I want to do and at the end of they day, they're all done. Once again, the power of intention at work.

Another powerful tool you can implement is evening review. Every day before you go to bed, do an evening review. Take out a piece of paper and draw three columns. In the first column, list things you've accomplished that day (e.g. I finalized the schedule for the project I'm working on). In the second column, list why each accomplishment is important (e.g now I can talk to my suppliers). In the third column list down things you need to do further (e.g. call 3 suppliers and get a quote).

For each task that you need to do, visualize how you're going to do them in as much detail as possible. By doing so, you put yourself in a state where you expect things to run smoothly and you start your day with a positive attitude.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes.