How Would You Like To Improve You Relationship With _________?

If someone tells you that he would like to give you some feedback, would you expect that he has something positive or negative to say? Most people would brace themselves for the critic.

When you receive a feedback, how do you react to it? Do you become angry, or defensive, or do you thank the feedback giver?

Getting angry or being defensive is pointless, even useless, because it does not allow you to improve yourself and grow. When people give you a feedback, listen, nod, thank them, and then think of how you can use the feedback to move forward. Of course it's not easy to do. Of course it's hard to sit there and listen. But if you could keep yourself from being angry or defensive, it will allow you to grow in various aspects of your life.

You can use feedback to improve your relationship with people around you. How? Ask them for feedback. Here's how you do it.

First, ask them this question: "On a scale from 1 - 10, how would you rate __________?". The blank might be "our relationship", "our friendship", "me as a boss", "me as an event organizer", "me as a team player" etc.

If the answer is less then 10, the next question to ask is "What would it take to make it a 10?".

Listen to the feedback and then think what you can do to make that relationship a 10. You can ask the questions to your significant other, friends, business partners, son/daughter, your employees etc.

I hope you'll have fun with this simple exercise. I surely did.

How would you like to be appreciated?

Do you know that different people have different preferences on how they would like to be appreciated? I didn't know until a week ago.

Some people prefer auditory appreciation. Others visual. Some other prefer kinesthetic appreciation.

For auditory people, kind words of appreciation is enough to send them over the moon. The visual type prefers things like cards, or desk clock, or flowers - things they can look and touch. People who are kinesthetic prefers a pat on the shoulder or a hug.

Why am I telling you all this? Firstly, because it's important not to take people around us for granted and to tell them that we appreciate their presence in our lives. Secondly, when you show your appreciation according to the way people prefer to be appreciated, it magnifies the impact. Not only they'd feel appreciated, your thoughtfulness makes them feel loved and cared for.

I asked a friend how she prefers to be appreciated and her answer was, "It depends. If it's from my husband, I prefer something tangible and shiny". She loves jewelry :-).

In order to be successful, you need to build relationships of success. One way to do this is by appreciating people around you - your significant other, kids, employees, co-workers etc. Whenever someone does a good job, tell them so. And show your appreciation in the way they prefer to be appreciated.

You mission this week, should you choose to accept it, is to make a list of people you want to appreciate, find out how they like to be appreciated, and list ideas how you can show your appreciation.

Don't make this a once-a-year event. Show your appreciation regularly.